http://www.yummymummyclub.ca/blogs/andrea-nair-connect-four-parenting/20141203/the-eight-actions-parents-can-do-to-increase-trust

Culture Conflict: Is It Real?

The first time I arrived to the US I told myself not to have any expectations, neither from people nor from places. So, that setting of thoughts actually helped me in the very beginning. Later, when I met more and more people I started to realize that they actually want to help me, genuinely. Whatever the problem was, there was someone who was willing to help me to figure that out. As a matter of fact, human consciousness is a very interesting thing. Though I knew they wanted to help me, lots of side thoughts like “He just wants to give me a ride? For free?”, “They just want to give away their furniture? Do I have to give them something back?”. These kind of thoughts did not let me fully immerse myself into a new chapter of my life. For a few days I was asking myself “What is going on?”, “Why do I ask myself questions like that?”.

Soon, I realized there was a culture conflict going on in me. Back in my country in Geography class our teacher used a big world map to introduce us to our neighboring countries. He showed us China and told that it is a big tiger, then indicated on Russia and told us that it is a big bear. I was 12 at that time, but the image of him imitating a big bear and tiger, making these animal sounds made me really scared. Then he told that we should not trust none of these countries, because our territory is big and we have a lot natural underground resources, but the population of the country is not as big as it is in China or Russia. “So, if there is chance, one of these countries would love to conquer our country” he told.

I think at that time when I was sitting in that classroom my mind somehow shifted and I started to consider every country with some kind of caution.

Now I discern that we, people, are a set of our society’s, parents’, friends’ beliefs, fears, thoughts. You know, it is like wearing clothes, you are not wearing your own clothes, you think they are your clothes, but in fact, they are not. One piece of clothing belongs to your mother/father/siblings, one piece of accessories belongs to your teacher/friend and list goes on and on. The question is why do we do that?

Coming back to culture conflict, for me it was quite shocking to see people, old and very young, who just wanted to help us, international students. Helping without any conditions. The question is why do not my country’s people behave that way too? Why are we afraid that someone can deceive/rape/kill/steal from us?